Bridal Dilemma: How Do I Answer Post-Engagement Questions?

Welcome to our very first Bridal Dilemma! Twice a month, our panel of wedding experts will be answering reader questions about every part of the wedding process, from organizing the proposal to planning an unforgettable reception. Submit your questions by emailing us at! Happy planning!

The Dilemma

I just got engaged over the holidays! I told my friends and family (and shared a ring selfie on Instagram, obviously) and the outpouring of love and support has been beautiful. But now, I’m getting bombarded with questions! Everyone wants to know when and where I want the wedding, what I want my dress to look like and who’s paying for what. I can’t answer everything with “I don’t know!” and I don’t want to be rude, so what can I say to get everyone off my back?!

– The “Stop Asking Me!” Bride

The Expert

On paper, Daniela Grafman is a Certified Special Events Professional and is the Chief Amazement Officer & Partner at Vision Event Co. Board Member for the NY Chapters of the International Live Events Association (ILEA) & Wedding Industry Professionals Association (WIPA). She is an avid event industry speaker, co-founder of W.IN.E: Women In Events and an active participant and fundraiser for the AVON 39: Walk to End Breast Cancer.

Off paper, chocolate is a true passion of hers, she loves to dance like no one’s watching, and her glass is always half full. A born and raised New Yorker, she’s lived in London and Paris and speaks four languages.

The Solution

Dear “Stop Asking Me!” Bride,

First, take a deep breath. Really — in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now, set a time to have a real conversation with your partner about the wedding. If you can tackle or at least become aware of what questions others are going to bombard you with in the comfort of your inner circle (you and your partner), you will feel so much more prepared and less overwhelmed when questions start coming your way.

Don’t make any promises or grand decisions off the bat. You know when your boss asks you to stay late and you say “yes” instinctively only to walk out of their office and remember you had plans that night? Pause and hold off on making any bold statements about wedding plans until they’re finalized.

Then, you might get questions about your ring. Your ring is a symbol of your commitment and love and is more sentimental than anything else. Be grateful, be confident, and be true about your happiness and what that ring stands for despite any noise around you.

Finally, the million dollar question: “Have you set a date”? Choosing your date, which in turn means choosing your venue, is easily one of the hardest parts of wedding planning and it’s the first step so don’t feel like you need to rush it. For those rushing to ask you the question, let them know you’re simply enjoying your engagement at the moment! There is no rule that says you must have a date picked out the week after getting engaged!

As for all the other questions, no one’s going to argue with “We are thoroughly enjoying the excitement of being engaged, that’s all we’ve had the time to focus on!” You’re engaged, you get a pass for being corny and cheeky and cute!

Keep us in the loop!

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